Visa-14 Dating?

It seems I've inadvertently created quite the procrastination tool. I should probably be studying for the MCAT right now, but whatever. It's only, you know, my future.

Apparently the Brits are trying to be all environmental now, with the Labour proposing this absolutely wacky idea for carbon rationing to cut down on pollution. I don't know the first thing about British politics, but this really doesn't make any sense. It seems more like a Jack Layton-style let's-say-ridiculous-things-to-sound-innovative initiative, except without the rather offensive moustache. The logistics and cost of this project would be absurd. Imagine trying, from scratch, to set up the entire Visa network; they would have to use something along those lines in order to keep it secure. This thing has fiasco written all over it. If I were President of the World (or at least Prime Minister of the UK), I'd start with a carbon tax. There's virtually no infrastructure to set up, and it's easily subject to modification.

Did you hear? Jesus was a shark. Or at least Mary was a shark. Or sharks gave rise to humans. Or something. Somehow I get the feeling the creationists are going to try to spin this as proof of the immaculate conception. The argument would go like this:

Creationist: "Sharks are capable of parthenogenesis. Therefore, Jesus was conceived without a mortal father."
Rational Person: "How do you make that conclusion?"
C: "Well, you see, the Bible says Mary was impregnated despite being a virgin. And sharks are a present-day example of that possibility."
RP: "So..."
C: "So the Bible said so. Ergo, it's true. Asshole."

And so on. I'm sure R-Dawk would have a better version, but it's the best I could think of. And has "asshole" in it.